Beth Nielsen Chapman - 'Sand and Water'

It's been too long since 'You hold the Key', and we when we discover the reasons, then it's all too understandable. Nielsen Chapman lost her husband to cancer in 1994 and this new album is pervaded with her sadness. Never fear though, it isn't a dolorously miserable album along say Tracy Chapman lines, it isn't a wailing lament eulogising her husband's virtues. It's a collection of songs that are all very different, and yes, many of the albums reflect the loss she has just suffered, but 'Sand and Water' is more than a mere attempt at cartharsis by a grieving widow.

The album begins with a gentle, almost classical piano introduction and 'The Color of Roses' is a very melodic and romantic piece. Rodney Crowel's influence as producer is evidence in the more 'country' tracks on the album like 'All the time in the world' and 'Heads Up for the Wrecking Ball'. I wondered if 'Happy Girl' was an ironic song, but I shouldn't have doubted the sincerity and honesty of Beth Nielsen Chapman. Yes, she's sad, but has learned that she is also able to experience happiness again even with the loss of a loved one.

Standout tracks on the album are 'The Color of Roses', 'Sand and Water', 'No one knows but you' and 'Say Goodnight'. 'Say Goodnight' has a strangely haunting melody which for some reason seemd to be to be reminiscent of a bizarre melding of the Beatles during their acid era and also Elton John. I liked the song, but the melody nagged at the edges of my consciousness in a rather unusual fashion.

'No one knows but you' is outright heart-strings material and Beth's voice is almost on the verge of breaking.

As you watch me finding my way,
Here without you in my life.

Her voice as she sings the chorus is particularly poignant: 'No one knows but you, How I feel inside' and speaks of wounds that are still aching and raw despite the healing process. It's almost an invasion of privacy to listen to the lyrics and to hear this heart-felt farewell and expression of sorrow. We should consider ourselves fortunate to have been blessed with the inclusion of this track.

'Sand and Water' juxtaposes an element of hope with overwhelming fatalism:

All alone I heal this heart of sorrow
All alone I raise this child
Flesh and bone, he's just
Bursting towards tomorrow
And his laughter fills my world and wears your smile.

At the same time she is singing of the promise of her son's future and the smile of her husband continuing to live through their son, she also sings of the inevitable mortality of all mankind:

All alone I came into this world
All alone I will someday die
Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by.

There's an aching loneliness in this song which is a stark contrast to many of Beth Nielsen Chapman's albums which were simply bursting with optimism, vitality and a deep love of life and its possibilities. She's expression the fear that many people feel - the fear of dying alone. It's very telling that the 'hope' to meet again is her own death:

I will know you when I come, as well all will come
Through the doors beyond the grave.

Heavy stuff, and very sad. The album as a whole is cohesive and deeply introspective. I like it very much, although I will confess that it took me a few listens before the melodies really grabbed me. I highly recommend the album to anyone who enjoys 'good' music.

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